SpecGram—The Scrabble Cheaters’ Dictionary
The Scrabble Cheater’s Dictionary is now available for readers and fans of Speculative Grammarian! It is an infinite lexicon—unbound by the constraints of time, space, or truth. Any and every word...
View ArticleSpecGram—Call for Papers
SpecGram is seeking witty, erudite papers in satirical linguistics that demonstrate a comprehensive knowledge of the field of linguistics as a whole, a subtle wit, and a refined sense of written...
View ArticleSpecGram—AutoGrammatikon™
On several occasions, mention has been made of the AutoGrammatikon™ Quasi-Universal Translator℠ in the pages of SpecGram, usually in the form of denials. We are pleased to finally announce publicly...
View ArticleSpecGram—Call for Volunteers
If you’d like to help out your favorite journal of satirical linguistics, there are a several of things you can do!
View ArticleSpecGram—Archives
If you’ve made it back this far, maybe you should check out the SpecGram archives. There you will find every back issue of SpecGram, going back to 1993, and related publications going back to 1988. We...
View ArticleSpecGram—Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ԺԱ—Mary Shapiro
Like other cryptic crosswords, the clues in this puzzle are not straightforward. Unlike most, however, this one focuses mainly on languages and linguistics. For instance, the clue for Zapotec might be...
View ArticleSpecGram—Seeking 0.6 FTE Professor of Articulatory Phonetics/Articulated...
The West North-Western Academy des Arts and Sciences de la Langage seeks a Professor of Articulatory Phonetics/Articulated Lorry Driver across its two-campus site in the UK/France. With campuses...
View ArticleSpecGram—Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius
The SpecGram Archive Elves recently made another large collection of documents available to the XQK Directorate, leaving them on our doorstep in black plastic sacks in the middle of the night. In order...
View ArticleSpecGram—Update on Linguistic Protocol Regarding Addressing the Monarch—Her...
Citizens, non-doms, holders of indefinite leave to remain, EU citizens who’ve already filled in the quick-and-easy computer registration thingy, visitors and anyone else. As is well known, Her Majestic...
View ArticleSpecGram—Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?
Frank Quipley spent some time yachting around one of the -nesias with his nephew Josh. A brief unscheduled stop from late morning to early evening allowed Dr. Quipley to do more fieldwork.
View ArticleSpecGram—How Does Art Mean? Parsing the Grammar of Fine Art—Morris McConaughey
It is impossible to observe Michaelangelo’s David without the realisation that it represents the apotheosis of the Hallidayan grammar’s attempt to schematise meaning-making. From a trinocular...
View ArticleSpecGram—Letters from Esperantoland—Dr. Ho Ping
Let it not be said that Esperanto, the world’s most successful constructed language, is a language without a culture! This was of course J. R. R. Tolkien’s criticism, and has remained a perennial means...
View ArticleSpecGram—Linguimericks—Book ६७
A prescriptivist, manner peremptory... There once was a curate of Kew... F before double F... Mary, that sweet shepherdess from childhood, had a little lamb-... I Want You to Be Like Me
View ArticleSpecGram—EU Set to Standardise Diacritics Following Brexit—Deacon Red White...
In a rare piece of positive Brexit-related news, the EU this week issued a statement regarding the linguistic situation in the bloc post-Brexit. From the steps of the EU’s Brussels HQ, Arnheim Von der...
View ArticleSpecGram—Letters to the Editor
... Apollo on Apollo ... a quadruple major in Linguistics, Linguistics, Linguistics, and Linguistics (plus a minor in Linguistics) ... part-time teaperson/interactional linguist ...
View ArticleSpecGram—Don’t Just Talk (About) the Talk—A Letter from Recursive Editor Edak...
At my local monthly meeting of Linguist(ic)s and Vanilla Slices (LaVS), we got talking. No surprise there: we’re linguists! But then one of us (it may have been Wilhemina, but I’m not sure) made a...
View ArticleSpecGram—Volume CLXXXV, No. 4—October 2019
The editors and publishers of Speculative Grammarian are pleased to announce that another issue of our esteemed journal is now available. This issue offers many excellent features, including an...
View ArticleSpecGram—Rasmus Rask Diamond Puzzle X—Lila Rosa Grau
This is the tenth Rasmus Rask puzzle, devoted to the original Mr. Charming Scandinavian Linguist. The puzzle is similar to a crossword puzzle, in that there is a grid for filling in words and phrases,...
View ArticleSpecGram—Blends for Friends—Winning Words for Wise Writers, Worthy Word...
As linguistics continues its meteoric ascendance in the academic zeitgeist, scholarly and even not-so-scholarly writers would be well-advised to “get with the [minimalist] program” and take on the...
View ArticleSpecGram—How We Think About the Sounds of Chinese–Any Implications for...
I would like to share some observations about how linguists and Chinese native speakers think about the sounds of Chinese, and whether this may have influenced the development of the study of Chinese...
View ArticleSpecGram—On the Predicament of the Predicate: A Pristine Proposal—Lois Lingerie
Among the bestial and infernal hordes of rabid terminological Cerberi that prowl hither with a snarling aggression punctuated only by the stalactitic drip of salivation which is itself surpassed by...
View ArticleSpecGram—Reasons Not to Study Linguistics—Part III—Dyspepsia Prater and...
Linguists, generally, try to encourage others’ interest in their field with enticements such as, “linguistics helps us understand the human condition”; “every language provides a unique view of the...
View ArticleSpecGram—The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective
Are you in a world of linguistic hurt? The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective (SLAC) will offer you empirical, empathic, emphatic advice you can use!
View ArticleSpecGram—Whose Puppet Are You?—Kae d’Rik Kham
At a recent conference on proto-Slavic (somewhat incongruously in Hawaiʻi), the organisers kindly provided a plenary alternative in the form of a ventriloquist’s act. Being an invited speaker myself,...
View ArticleSpecGram—Linguimericks—Book ६८
The Bar-Raising Principle... Young grad students I just can’t believe in... There once was a linguistics journal... “Ой, я помню,” he said with a grin... It’s good to be highly theoretical... There...
View ArticleSpecGram—Letters to the Editor
... SpecGram vs Cosmo ... regularizing to go, to be and to have ...
View ArticleSpecGram—A Name by Any Other Name—A Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater
Astute students of the SpecGram author indices are aware that some of our material is published in nom de plume fashion. Even the most perceptive may have failed to notice, though, that some...
View ArticleSpecGram—Volume CLXXXVI, No. 1—November 2019
The editors and publishers of Speculative Grammarian are pleased to announce that another issue of our esteemed journal is now available. This issue offers many excellent features, including a...
View ArticleSpecGram—Domiphones II—Keith Slater & Trey Jones
Traditional Dominosa is a puzzle game that requires you to pair numbers corresponding to the faces of dominoes. You are presented with a rectangular grid of numbers. Each number must be paired with one...
View ArticleSpecGram—Micro-Commando Diachron-5 Auction—/vɝnənz viː eɪtʃ ɛs vɔlt/
The one and only /vɝnənz viː eɪtʃ ɛs vɔlt/ is pleased to present another rare and valuable VHS tape for auction!
View ArticleSpecGram—Speculative Grammarian International Academic and Very Clever...
After the success of the 2018 Conference in South Theoretistan which boasted a record-breaking attendeeship of 43 (including 39 of the local yak herding community), we are proud to announce the...
View ArticleSpecGram—The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective
Are you in a world of linguistic hurt? The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective (SLAC) will offer you empirical, empathic, emphatic advice you can use!
View ArticleSpecGram—Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VIII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius
The SpecGram Archive Elves recently made another large collection of documents available to the XQK Directorate, leaving them on our doorstep in black plastic sacks in the middle of the night. In order...
View ArticleSpecGram—Notes on Arunta Morphology—Orville Man-Quinnan Ward
Arunta noun roots are generally short, often simple open monosyllables, e.g. ga / “rabbit”; va / “part”
View ArticleSpecGram—Decoupling the Linguolabial Trill From Its Ideobatian...
When I first came across the Gricean associations of the otherwise respectable linguolabial trill, I immediately informed a make-up artiste I knew who had unfortunately drawn her eyebrows too high that...
View ArticleSpecGram—Locating Linguistics in Everyday Places—Dr Francis (Frankie)...
Hey folks! So, I was busy at home on a recent Wednesday tidying up the front room, doing a bit of vacuuming, dusting the shelves and thinking about texting my wife (she’s a corporate lawyer Mondays to...
View ArticleSpecGram—The Ballad of Three-Tongued Ted—Onfor Anwyth
In the fields beyond Slough, past the sheep and the cows, / There are men who enjoy the narration / Of a young man called Ted, “a legend” they said / For feats of co-articulation.
View ArticleSpecGram—Linguimericks—Book ६९
Derek Bickerton... Linguists’ articles are bad, that’s for sure... ‘The head of the sentence is I’?... It’s known dogs are insipid and dumb... Your hard drive crashes... Ah! the pleasures (hmmm!) of...
View ArticleSpecGram—University News
TV Chef and Government Boffins Spruce Up Linguini with Linguistics
View ArticleSpecGram—Letters to the Editor
... abuse committed on the Franglais language ... annotations for polysemous authors ... feedback on the language of SpecGram ...
View ArticleSpecGram—The Gift of Language—The SpecGram Christmas Elves™
As Christmas approaches, there’s little else on the mind of the average, normal, well-adjusted and socially acceptable citizen of the average western democracy than “Buy, buy, buy!” We follow the...
View ArticleSpecGram—Volume CLXXXVI, No. 2—December 2019
The editors and publishers of Speculative Grammarian are pleased to announce that another issue of our esteemed journal is now available. This issue offers many excellent features, including the...
View ArticleSpecGram—Retiring the SpecGram RSS Feed?
Greetings RSS users. The SpecGram Editorial Board and Web Interns are considering retiring the SpecGram RSS feed after this latest update. If you use the RSS feed and would like to see it continue into...
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